Nude Thai actress bends over for charity!
Cue the canned outrage. It's the same old "Thai actress goes nude while the Culture Ministry goes ballistic" story we've heard a thousand times before - with the whole world looking on in disbelief because, for most people, Thailand will always be synonymous with ping-pong pussy banana shows and whoring.
I'm sure we could debate the ethical implications for hours but the only question on my mind this week was "how do I get my hands on the naughty pictures?"
Hitting the mucky mother lode proved more difficult than I'd anticipated because, despite being aired on Thai TV, these nude images aren't "plastered all over the net" as you might expect and, to make matters worse, Thailand's popular newspapers always lead on "news" about nude actresses so I could hardly see the wood for the trees.
Here's the un-cropped version of the most widely circulated photo. This nude Thai actress has a bottom of such peach-like perfection that it brings to mind the arse-worship video recommended by Dicer.
If you can imagine taking firm hold of that long silky hair while approaching her from the rear, you should be ashamed of yourself - because I thought of the idea first and you're stealing my intellectual property.
The shot that really put the cat amongst the pigeons was this one - where another nude Thai actress bends over in a supposedly lewd pose.
"I would like them to cover themselves," said Prisana Pongtadsirikul, secretary-general of the Office of the National Culture Commission. "Being naked is not beautiful."
First we had Purachai "The Fuehrer of Purer" Piumsombun and now we've got Prisana "Prissy" Pongtadsirikul. You couldn't make it up.
Journalists excel at devising flimsy excuses to present naked women as news but, in conservative Thailand, they have to get their ducks in a row first.
Harnessing public outrage requires that you frame your faux-gripes about nude actresses in a way that establishes some tenuous connection with a religious or cultural sacred cow.
In this case, tasteful nude photos of 32 models and celebrities were to be auctioned off with the proceeds going to Aids victims but the kicker is that the poor wretches are being cared for at a Lop Buri temple - by monks!
With the sacred cow safely lassoed, it's time to give Khun Prissy Rentaquote a call and, once she's sounded off, you're home and dry.
In this case, prissy Prisana demanded to know why the actresses didn't wear traditional Thai costume instead of appearing in the nude but no one bothered to explain it to her.
She must be a bit slow.
Politicians love to play the morality card, editors love to sell newspapers and men love to wank themselves silly but no one seems to register that all this blatant hypocrisy is turning Thailand into an international laughing stock.
Footnote
Thailand's shapeliest tits and arses will go on display at CentralWorld this week. The Fame Erotica exhibition opens on Thursday and runs till Monday. However, you'd better phone ahead because, once the Culture Ministry sticks its oar in, plans often change.
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